Dreaming of Tomorrow (Episode #2)

TRANSCRIPT:

Spring and autumn are probably my favourite seasons, but one garden job in particular that marks the end of autumn, is especially poignant and one I have difficulty enjoying. 

It’s the cutting back of the rose bushes. It’s such a destructive act at a time when everything has grown and developed to such an extent that these big, beautiful, blooming roses, with so much growth in the leaves and stems - so often the entire plant can literally quadruple in size in one season and then…. and then we must cut them back to a few inches above the ground. Sometimes there are still flowers on the stems. But that act of cutting them back is essential for the plants future growth. Throughout the winter all the plants’ energy goes into its root system, buried deep underground where no one can see where the work is happening, to develop a stronger, healthier, and bigger plant for next season.

And so we cut back and lose the things we enjoy and love, in order to grow and in time enjoy something new that will grow from the very place from where we severed.

Hello everyone, my name is Jez Rose, and welcome to episode 2 of ‘do it different’, this weekly podcast that sees a slight change in style to my previous podcasts because it’s just us; just you and me navigating my thoughts on becoming the best version of us, out loud. But, back to roses.

For me, that autumn job of cutting back the roses, it’s a real event. I take my time and am very present in its poignancy. It marks the end of a season, the beginning of a period of hunkering down, shorter and darker days, and being indoors more. It also acts as a poignant reminder of the personal metaphor of change, and reminds me of all those painful periods of change in my own life. Periods I’m now through but which the lesson is worth being reminded of. We must change, we are of course always changing, but we must also cut away things that we must trust are the right things to lose, in order to not only grow, but to grow stronger and healthier. Just like those roses.

We fear what we might lose when we change, or when we sever things or people we have been so used to being a part of our life, identity and even a part of who we are, but from that place of loss new things grow - it doesn’t remain a wound for long, much like trimming a rose bush - the severance promotes new growth.

However, if we don’t change, we never really discover who we really are.

I’ve recently moved from England to America and while I’m still working all around the world, the move has understandably thrown up lots of challenges and emotions. When I began packing up the house in England, I went through that phase of purging and cleansing: discovering those drawers stuffed with stuff, and hidden things pushed back to the back of cupboards. But this time the thinning out had to be a little more extreme; electrical items were pointless in bringing with me, and every item I shipped added to the size and weight and in turn cost. The main shipment was going to take up to 3 months to reach me, so I packed the essentials in a suitcase; 2 knives, 1 pot to cook in, a mug… and within a few weeks of being in the new house something extraordinary happened. I began to appreciate the notion of “you have enough”. We spend our lives dreaming of tomorrow and how much happier or better they will be when we buy the thing we have our sights on, and drawn in by marketing and advertising to buy the thing that will brighten our tomorrow. Losing sight all the time that we have enough right now. In living with comparatively next to nothing I realised just how liberating it was as it echoed what was happening in my own mind: letting go of the things I thought were important, learning what really was important, and living without materialism. Then all my things arrived, I became quite overwhelmed. Here was all this stuff I simply didn’t need. I have enough. The only thing I could do was to begin cutting back again, selling those things I knew I didn’t need - the fallout from a period of my life where I was buying things to help make me happy.

It’s extremely difficult to grow, to start anew, when living in the past or in the wrong story. Without cutting back the roses, the plant becomes unruly and untidy, increasing its chances of disease. We need to cut back in order to rebuild. But rebuilding doesn’t mean adding more things - it means giving us the s[ace and freedom to focus on us - to discover what we really need.

The more I’ve come to truly know myself, which is a lifelong journey but one so fascinating and enjoyable I’d recommend to anyone - and the more I’ve deeply explored the human condition, the more I’ve come to realise just how trapped we become by material things. They begin to define us, without us knowing it. They change us. They make us less human, because our identity and ability to know who we are is wrapped up in them. Some things are hard to let go of, not because they are sentimental or have memories, but because we feel so attached to them. That’s the red flag we should look out for - it’s not about the physical object, it’s about what you’re holding on to: why do you feel you need it? Are you seeking happiness in material things, or from within yourself? Only when we let go, and cut back, can we really truly grow. And when you know, you know - even if you pretend or say otherwise, there’s that deep down sense of knowing. We can ignore it all we want - but you know.

In case you’re wondering, I still only have 1 pot, although I did add 2 saucepans to it. And I still only have 2 cooking knives. I used to have a whole selection of knives, most of which I never used. What a waste.

As we head towards fall, or autumn - I feel living in both England and America now I need to translate frequently - it will be time to cut back many plants in your gardens, or trim back house plants - and with that is an opportunity to consider what you need to let go of, too. I promise you, it’s not nearly as painful as you think, and getting closer to the best version of yourself is so incredibly liberating.

If you have a question about something you’ve heard, record your message on your phone and send it to me on Instagram @thatjezrose - so I can play it on the next episode and answer your question.

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