2-8-26 - To cover over or to confront

Amen. Amen. Thank you, pastor David. Okay. We're gonna read a couple scriptures this morning that will guide us.

Our scripture reading is gonna be Matthew eighteen fifteen, and then first Peter four eight. If you would, I have respect for God's word. Let's go ahead and stand to our feet. Pastor David, am I to read the text, and then I'm gonna say something, and then they're gonna say something? K.

K. K. Alright. Hear the word of the Lord. If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.

If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. First Peter four eight. Above all, keep loving one another earnestly since love covers a multitude of sins. This is the word of the Lord. Thank you, God.

Yes. Okay. You may be seated. Man, it's great to be here. I love your pastor, pastor David.

He's been an encouragement to me. I love seeing all these kiddos. My goodness. It reminds me a little bit of my church. We've got a lot of kids, but, wow.

You guys are neck and neck. I'm gonna go back to my church and say, we've got work to do. Amen? And all the men of God will say, amen. Amen.

It's a good and holy work. Alright. So I wanted to say thank you to pastor David. Looking forward to getting to meet his wife or get to know her a little bit and family afterwards. Wanna say thank you for being a part of a church like this, and I pray that on some level in some way, I can be an encouragement to you.

Maybe more correctly put that God's word this morning can be a great help to you. K. To cover or not to cover, that is the question. Scripture endorses both. In the first text that we read, Matthew eighteen fifteen, Jesus instructs his disciples, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault.

In other words, confront between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. So Jesus exhorts his disciples to confront sin. If you're with me, say amen. Amen.

K? But then in first Peter four eight, the apostle Peter instructs the early church, above all, keep loving one another earnestly since love covers a multitude of sins. So love covers. The apostle Peter exhorted Christians to cover over sin. To cover or to confront.

That is the question. Are you feeling a little bit of the tension this morning? You tell your son after he turns 16 and you help responsibly lead him to steward a cell phone. You tell your son, put the phone away. And he does so with reluctance after giving you some verbal grief.

Do you confront or do you cover? You ask your husband to take care of an issue. He says, I'll get to it. Just a minute, babe. But then he forgets.

Do you confront or do you cover Your wife relays to you how your mother dropped by unannounced earlier that day, and made several passing remarks about her housekeeping. Do you cover or do you confront? Are you feeling a little more the tension? Some of your friends at church went out to dinner. You saw the post on Facebook or Instagram, but you were not invited.

And this seems to be a developing pattern. Do you cover or do you confront? Your daughter, she listened to the announcement. She was faithfully present Wednesday night for Awanas. She reports afterwards some strange teachings coming from one of the Awana leaders.

Do you cover or do you confront? How about this? Your wife relays to you some gossip that she learned at the women's bible study. It's privileged information, and she heard it from the mouth of a deacon's wife. Do you confront or do you cover?

One school of thought is this. You cover what you can. Biblical counselor Stuart Scott, he framed this mindset this way. Quote, you cover what you can cover unless sin blows the cover off. You cover, what you can cover unless it's really bad.

Right? So bad. Relationally, church wise, family wise, just blows the cover off. This mindset, which I think is perhaps the default Christian mindset. This mindset presents covering sin as being virtuous, wise, and and even pragmatic.

Like like, it just it just kinda works. I mean, you don't wanna be the KGB, do you? Going around and confronting sin all day long. However, we find no lists in scripture that clarify what sins we should cover versus what sins we ought confront. And that's one of the problems.

It ends up being fairly arbitrary. Moreover, we find several instances in the New Testament where Christians actually get rebuked for their tolerance of sin. Evidently, we as men and women at times have a capacity much larger than we think to cover over things. For example, Revelation two eighteen through 20, the church in Thyatira is rebuked for tolerating false teaching and sexual immorality. Most of you are familiar with the church at Corinth, first Corinthians five, rebuked for tolerating an immoral union.

Additionally, think about it this way. Isn't it true that sin becomes harder to deal with when you move from a one time or first time occurrence into a habitual pattern? Finally, we have to ask ourselves this question. Does God model this behavior? It just covers over some sin, but then kind of whimsically or arbitrarily confronts others.

Is God that way? So upon further examination, I submit to you this idea of covering what you can. It's too vague. What do I mean by that? There's no clear list.

No place I can take you in scripture. Address this, but don't address that. It's too naive. And assuming that you and I are just gonna internally, intrinsically, by some sort of vibe, understand when the sin has gone too far, and therefore, we need to speak up. It's too dangerous, and it's potential to lead us into wicked tolerance.

Or if you think that's going too far, how about this? To lead us into delinquent aid. We go and offer help, but but we've waited so long. Help just isn't as helpful. And it's too arbitrary in comparison to the faithful character of God.

Here's the question this morning. What would God have us to do? How is a Christian to respond when he or she is sinned against? And if you're gonna be a part of Clearnote Church for any duration of time, you will be sinned against. Because if you're a part of Noblesville Baptist Church for any period of time, you will be sinned against.

And if you're gonna be married for any number of decades, you will be sinned against. And if you're gonna live in your parents home till you're 18, you will be sinned against. And so we as a believing community really need to figure out what is it that we're supposed to do when we've clearly been sinned against? To cover or to confront? That's the question.

So here is the answer that I'd like to present to you this morning. This is the essence of the sermon, the sermon in a nutshell. Christians are to lovingly cover over any clear sin once that sin has been dealt with. Alright. Let me say it again.

Process it in your head. Christians Christians are to lovingly cover over any clear sin once that sin has been dealt with. Now I'm gonna try to prove to you that that is the appropriate systematic understanding of scripture. So here's how I'm gonna do that this morning. I'm gonna take this big idea, and we're gonna try to eat the elephant one bite at a time.

We're gonna break it down into its phrases. Hopefully, by the time we've gotten to the end, you'll be convinced that it's your joy. It's your privilege, it's your Christian duty to lovingly cover over any sin once it's been properly dealt with. So let's deal with the first phrase. Christians are to lovingly cover over.

Kids, I know that some of you have a children's bulletin. In in point number one, you could write that down. Christians are to lovingly cover over. I want you to recall Peter's instructions. First Peter four:eight, Love covers.

And I'm here to say this is a true statement. It's a very Christian principle. We have to be careful of is the timing that we read into the text. Love covers over sin, and you have to insert something as the reader. Love covers over sin.

Full stop. It just does. Therefore, we don't confront. Or love covers over sin once the sin has been dealt with. I submit to you the better reading is love covers over sin that has been dealt with.

You could put it this way. Love forgives after sin is addressed and confessed. Love forgives after sin is addressed and confessed. It may seem loving at first to be willing to overlook sin, but in reality, it's not loving at all. Listen to Proverbs twenty seven five and six.

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses. What's Solomon saying? True friends, I think that's what he wants us all to be, true friends will confront. It's enemies who will cover over sins that haven't been dealt with.

Now why would I make that statement? We understand the nature of sin. Sin, when it is finished, brings forth death. For me to leave you in your sin means I must hate you. Only an enemy would treat you like that.

Think about David's testimony in Psalm 32. David says this, When I kept silent So this is a testimony referencing his sin with Bathsheba, his arrangement of the murder of Uriah. This is a testimony of when he sought to cover over his sin. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night, your hand was heavy upon me.

My strength was dried up by the heat of the summer. Selah. So here's the question. Would it have been loving for the prophet Nathan to have covered over David's sin? No.

Covering over David's unconfessed sin would have left David in the tragic spiritual condition of wasting away. Only an enemy of David would do that. Listen to what David writes next. Psalm 32 continues. I acknowledged my sin to you.

And we can read that in Psalm 51. Right? And I did not cover my iniquity. I said, I will confess my transgressions to the Lord, and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah.

Love covers. Amen? Amen. But when does love cover? David's testimony is that the Lord covered.

The Lord forgave him after God dealt with David's sin. And this understanding aligns with a familiar proverb. Twenty eight thirteen, Solomon says, whoever conceals their sin doesn't prosper. But he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. So I'm suggesting to you this morning that the manner in which we cover over sin must be guided by God's love.

God's love covers sin in response to proper confession. Remember how Christ prayed from the cross? Father, forgive them. They know not what they do. It's a great prayer, right?

How and when did the father answer this request? Fifty days later at Pentecost, when over 3,000 repent of their complicity in the Messiah's death. God the father forgives them. Brothers, here in the church, if you say to yourself this morning, I'm not sure, Seth. After all, you are a Baptist.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure about this. I'm just gonna lovingly cover over my wife's disrespect. I'm just gonna cover over my son's attitude. I mean, right now he's so mercurial.

I'm just gonna cover over little Johnny's disobedience. I mean, after all, he's in the terrible twos. I'm just gonna cover over, and you fill in the blank. I don't know your life like you do, but it's a clear sin. And if you're gonna sit here this morning and say, well, I'm just gonna lovingly cover over instead of confronting it and dealing with it, you are covering the sin.

Yes. But you're not lovingly covering it. You're prematurely covering it. How about this? You're lazily covering it.

Selfishly covering it. Let's hit it from a different angle. Foolishly covering it. Let's get to the heart. Rebelliously covering it.

You are acting as an enemy and not as a friend. You are opposing sanctification instead of aiding sanctification. God has called us to lovingly cover sin only when it has been dealt with. To cover or to confront? That is the question.

The axiom that we're thinking about this morning is Christians are to lovingly cover over any clear sin once that sin has been dealt with. We've considered the first phrase. Christians are to lovingly cover. Let's now move on to the second. Any clear sin.

So if you're the type that likes an outline, that's point two. Any clear sin. I need to park here for a moment. I wanna help you, pastor David, by reminding your church family that God has called us to be relationally gracious people. Don't misinterpret this sermon.

God has called us to be relationally gracious people. According to first Corinthians 13, love is patient. Oh, let's say that word together. Patient. How about just the children say this word, kind.

Can you say that kids? Kind. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love believes all things.

Love leads us to assume the best of intentions. You hear that? Love leads us to assume in the post, in the text, in the email, in the passing conversation. Love leads us to assume the best of intentions. Love helps us fill interpretive gaps with the best take, and not the worst take.

Now watch this. When I say that, you all need to confess with me that our default is to insert the worst take. K? Just just get honest. That's sin working in you.

The default, you say that's not sin. That's just lived experience. No. It's sin. You insert the worst take.

Love leads us to fill interpretively with the best take. Love rejects a hermeneutic of suspicion, relationally. Love rejects that. Sisters in Christ, hear me now. Us men can fight and then two minutes later laugh like we're best friends with bloodied nose.

But sisters in Christ, this gracious disposition by way of your emotional temperament, and that's not a dig, that is recognizing God's good design. This gracious disposition is contrary to your nature. Beloved, we in our day as Christians, we have to reject the therapeutic mindset that equates offense and hurt feelings with sin. Alright. Let let me repeat that.

Let me repeat that. We live in a therapeutic age. We live in the era of empathy. And the way our modern culture lives, which means many of your relationships outside of Christ will be marked by this. Offense and hurt feelings equal sin.

And we have to reject that mindset. Just because you didn't like what a person said or just because you didn't like how it made you feel, doesn't mean that person sinned against you. Okay? Psalm one forty one five. Put this in your pipe and smoke it.

Alright? Let the righteous man smite me. I will consider it a kindness. Let him rebuke me. It will be like oil poured out upon my head.

What's David saying there? He values correction. Just because it felt harsh doesn't mean, a, that it was intended to be harsh, or b, that the harshness wasn't actually appropriate for the occasion. Ours is a snowflake society. It's not sinful for someone to disagree with you.

Your perspective isn't the only valid perspectives. And news flash, our perspectives are subject to error. We miss here, believe it or not. We misremember. Pastor David, I'm amazed.

In the course of my twenty plus years of ministry, I'm amazed at how people can recall words I've said from years ago, and I can't even recall the conversation. We miss here, we miss remember, we misspeak, we misinterpret, we miss identify. I mean, it happens. And think of the ancient proverb, Proverbs eighteen seventeen. The first to state his case seems right until another comes and cross examines him.

Remember, the demands of biblical justice require the corroboration of two or three witnesses, Deuteronomy nineteen fifteen. So with this in mind, right, we're we're trying to sink our teeth into this phrase, any clear sin, and we're wrestling with there's a lot that happens within the realm of relational offense that isn't clear sin. Let me give you some helpful applications. Not being invited to dinner it's not a sin. So let's be quick to cover.

A mother in law's critique about the living room may irritate you, but it also may be spot on, just poorly communicated. So you need to chill out. So and so may not have meant what you thought they meant. So you know what's a really gracious thing to do before you get in the huff? Go and seek clarification, assuming the best.

Within our homes and within our churches, we need to cultivate the true virtue of being relationally gracious. Let's put some scripture on it. James one nineteen. Slow to anger. Not all that chafes is sin.

Not all that chafes is sin. To cover or to confront, That is the question I've proposed to you. Christians are to lovingly cover over any clear sin once that sin has been dealt with. We've considered the first phrase, Christians are to lovingly cover any clear sin. Let's now think about this last phrase.

Once the sin has been dealt with. What do I mean? What do I mean? Once the sin has been dealt with, well, scripture is very clear about the appropriate steps to conflict resolution. I like the way biblical counselor Robert Jones conveys conflict resolution.

He's distilled a three step model. Number one, focus on pleasing God. Number one, your aim in any handling of conflict ought be foremost this, I wanna please God. Number two, repent of personal sin within the conflict. God, I wanna please you as I handle this conflict.

And Lord, search my heart. Have I contributed in any sinful way to said conflict? Step number three, approach the individual in love. Approach the individual in love. I care too much about God and too much about you to allow a root of bitterness to spring up between us.

Now I don't think I need to say much about the first two steps. Pleasing God is our driving motivation for all things as believers. Second Corinthians five nine, whether present or absent, we make it our aim to be pleasing to him. First Corinthians ten thirty one, whether therefore we eat or drink whatever we do, we do all to the glory of God. Our focus is not on keeping the peace, though we enjoy peace.

Did you hear that, husbands? Our focus is not on seeking justice, though as Christians, we do seek justice. Our focus is not on preserving relationships, though who here does not crave for some lifelong friendships? I mean, all that's good stuff. Our aim, our our highest priority is to live in a way that is pleasing to Christ.

And Christ is pleased when we deal with sin. Think for a moment of the Beatitudes. Matthew five nine. Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God. I don't think I need to say much about step two, repenting of personal sin within the conflict.

Jesus taught Matthew seven three through five, first deal with the log, the beam that's in our own eye so we can see clearly to deal with the speck, the splinter that is in a brother's eye. Right? K. So imagine for sake of illustration that you attended my church and that I as your pastor learned that you were struggling with drunkenness. Imagine that.

How am I as a pastor to respond? First, I need to be guided by the singular focus of pleasing Christ. What pleases Christ when a congregant is struggling with addiction like drunkenness? Well, here's a guiding text. First Thessalonians five fourteen.

Help the weak. Help the weak. Here's another guiding text, Galatians six two. Restore the overtaken brother in a spirit of meekness. My primary motive as your pastor in that moment is not your health.

Although, I think we'd all agree drunkenness isn't good for your health. My primary motive is not my happiness, as if somehow I got my jollies out of confronting people with reference to their addictive behaviors. My primary motivation is not the congregation's applause. I wanna stand before them and be able to talk about how I disciplined so and so. No.

My primary motive needs to be I want to be a shepherd that is pleasing to the chief shepherd. Now I need to search my own heart. Do I have any guilt in this matter? Am I guilty of excess in other areas of my own life? Am I coming to my brother with any hypocrisy?

And if the answer is yes, I still need to confront my congregant, but I first need to take my sin to the Lord in personal confession. So that so that with the right focus, I can have a clean conscience, and I can see clearly to discern how to best help my brother. Are you with me? If you're with me, say amen. Amen.

Okay. Where I'm convinced, we need more help. Not step one, focusing on Christ. Not step two, searching our own hearts, getting rid of hypocrisy. Where I'm convinced we need more help is step three.

Going to our brother or sister in love. This is our part in dealing with the sin. Now just in case it hasn't come through yet, that dealing with sin is not an option, that it's an obligation. I'm gonna give you a few more biblical texts. Matthew five twenty three and twenty four.

So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First, be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your guilt. The context there, you're preparing to worship, and it's not that you have a lot with your brother. You are brought to think about your brother who is convinced that there's a sinful issue with you. Matthew eighteen fifteen, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault.

Luke seventeen three, pay attention to yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him. As we go in love towards the one we're in conflict with, we're to go wisely. Meaning, here's some practical tips. Because I believe that when I leave this place, you all are going to be charged up to do some confronting.

What a week it's going to be for Clear Note Church. Confrontation everywhere. Hey, if the shoe fits, wear it. What what needs to guide our confronting? We need to go in a spirit of humility.

Don't go as if you're self righteous, but go as a fellow sinner. Go as a fellow sufferer. Secondly, we should go seeking peace. We should go with a sincere desire to be reconciled more than being right. Thirdly, we should go with patience.

Patience. I have scripture references for all of these. Fourthly, we should go with gentle correction. Gentle correction. Fifthly, we should go at a fitting time and in a fitting space.

But the main thing that I wanna bear down on is that our excuses for not going just don't pass scrutiny. And I want you to think for a minute if any of these excuses might be yours. Seth, it's not a big deal. Sin is a big deal to God. It brings separation between an individual and God, and an individual and his fellow man.

Sin and the separation that it brings does not just go away. How about this excuse? Well compared to other situations, this is not that serious. Hey. Hey.

What does scripture say about comparing ourselves with ourselves? Second Corinthians 10. That isn't wise. How about this excuse? Hey.

It's not my responsibility to confront this. I'm not an elder. Yet you are a Christian brother or sister. They're your fellow covenant member. How about this excuse?

I got thick skin. I can handle it. And there's a whole lot of men who pride themselves in their thick skin. Beloved, no one is immune to bitterness. No one's immune to bitterness.

Some might say, well, I'm just gonna take the high road. Okay, Michelle. That's exactly what a lazy, pious individual would say. Here's another excuse. Well, if I deal with every clear sin from a brother and sister in Christ, I'm gonna be dealing with sin all day.

I just don't have time for that. Maybe for a while, but your actions will affect change in some manner. Sad, it's too late. It's too late. The past is the past.

It's water under the bridge. What a defeatist mindset. Now call me crazy. Many have. But I actually want to be confronted with my sin.

So so I would say to you and I would say to my church and I would say to my own family, please confront me. Now do I like it? No. Nobody likes it. But at a deeper level, there are many things that I do that I don't like.

Exercise, eating right. If I send no matter how long ago, I want someone to come to me and help me make things right. And you know, I don't think I'm that unique. I think that's the heartbeat of any healthy Christian. How about this excuse?

Well, I just don't do drama. I don't do it. Aren't you glad that the godhead didn't take that mindset with you? So I want you to listen carefully. I want to quote Stuart Scott again.

He's talking about the common excuses that we often give for not confronting our sinning brother or sister. Here's what he says. These excuses are all self orientated rather than loving the person in God's glory. If you have people in your life who seek to deal with sins you have committed against them, you will sin less. Park a state trooper car along the freeway every mile, even without a police officer in it, you'll see traffic patterns change.

You want people in your life who love you, who want your sanctification and God's glory. I believe the general pattern in scripture is that Christian confrontation leads to one of two ends. Entertain this for a minute. Christian confrontation, normatively speaking, it results in two ends. On one hand, clarification and resolution.

Like, the thing that you thought was sin wasn't sin. That gets clarified, and things are able to be resolved. Praise god. Well, if if that's not the normative end, here's what I think normatively happens. Confrontation leads to confession.

Christians, generally speaking, respond positively to loving correction. Okay. Why would I make that claim? Proverbs nine eight. Reprove a wise man, and he will what?

He will love you or be wiser. K? There's it's repeated multiple times. That's the normative Christian response. Loving correction facilitates confession.

Confession facilitates forgiveness. Through forgiveness, debts are canceled, offenses are laid to rest, walls of separation are torn down, and fellowship is restored. It is then in response to confession that Christians are to zealously cover over sin. As David expressed in Psalm 32, blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. To cover or to confront, that is the question.

Christians are to lovingly cover over any clear sin once the sin has been dealt with. I wanna conclude to you by reading a tweet from Michael Foster. If you're into Twitter or x, he's a good follow. He offers this advice concerning handling conflict in marriage. I see a lot of married couples.

So with everything that's been said today, tune your ears in to what brother Foster says here. Every marriage has had an argument that turned into a five alarm fire, sometimes more than one. And often the thing you started fighting about isn't really the thing you're fighting about. It's just the match that found the kindling. Beneath it are layers of dry logs, old grievances, quiet resentments, half swallowed apologies, and sins politely swept aside.

They've been piling up for years, maybe decades. The thing on top looks small, but when the pile gets big enough and the wind hits just right, the whole marriage can go up like a barn. The presenting issue isn't the issue. The real issue is that the couple hasn't practiced real repentance and real forgiveness. Those are the only tools that keep you from stacking dry wood in your marriage.

And like most of the things that actually work, they're simple, but they aren't easy. They require humility, and humility always costs more than you think it should. Real repentance is when the sinner calls the sin a sin. No excuses. No creative labeling.

Real forgiveness is when the one who has sinned against doesn't brush it off or pretend it doesn't hurt, but looks to the other person in the eye and says, I forgive you and then lives like it. But let's end on a high note. I want you to think for a minute of Christ, our savior, who went to the cross. Why? To deal with our sin.

Because with God, sin cannot be covered until it's first dealt with. If God himself would so love us as to not leave us in our sin, then we ought also to so love one another. Out of love for Christ and out of love for one another, out of love for our marriages, out of love for our families, out of love for our churches, out of love for our own sanctification, let us resolve to quit stacking dry wood. So brother, do you have some dry wood that's piled up in your marriage? Sister, do you have some dry wood that's piled up in this church?

Young man, do you have some dry wood that's been stacking up concerning your father or mother? God is not honored in our five alarm fires. He's called us to do all that we can to clear the wood and deal with our sins. To cover or not to cover? That's the question.

And I'm convinced scripture's answer is that we lovingly cover over any clear sin once the sin has been dealt with. So it's time to start dealing with sin. Let's pray.